They told me I was weird, proud and every other word used to describe bizarre… What was happening to me? Is this what those big men called “growing”? Whatever.. It is a strange feeling, but peaceful one inside. I lost friends. The circle is small now. Very small. I feel drawn to mature people. I love hearing motivational speaker. I heard that if you wanna grow up, the path to this is lonely, hard. I talk to the universe..a lot… I feel closer to the universe.. I get “SIGNS”.. People who meditate will understand what am talking about. I am more calm and grateful. I have developed something for every night before I sleep: “What are you grateful for today, Neha?” And, that practice forces my brain to think and see things differently and thus, I now have something to be grateful for every single day. And, even when things get rough, it’s as if the universe has my back.
Like last night, this week has been bad; like moody bad and yesterday, I was racking my brain to think what was I grateful for? I got the , “I’m grateful to be alive only.” But, just at that moment, I checked my Instagram notifications & Andrea Navedo (Xiomara in Jane the Virgin) had liked one of the pictures I had posted about the Flash!!!! But, that’s not the only awesome thing that has happened. Who would have thought that Todd Carey would follow & tweet me? Who would have thought that Neha’s blog would get more than 110 followers, with 100 views per day? Who would have thought that I would host Kindle Best Selling Authors’ interviews and be featured in Scriggler & Niume? Who would have thought my ebook “7 keys to happiness” would get more than 50 views? But, that’s not achievements.. that’s stupidity, they said They regarded me as being weird..very weird.. I could no longer stand hearing people gossiping about others. I remember, everyone had made a group and they were gossiping. About everyone. That what most people do. That’s suppose to be “normal” in this society I live. But, I couldn’t stand that. Being in that group, I felt like someone locked me in a box forever. I felt uneasy. Very uncomfortable. For they were the people I have been seeing since my birth. But, I could no longer be with them. So, I had a choice – To say No to this behaviour or say yes and be accepted in the group. Saying no would mean being alone… I guess, this is the reason why most people don’t get out of their comfort zone, for fear of ending up alone and not being accepted by everyone. But, I said no & left. Knowing what would happened when I would be the only one who is not in the group.
“What is wrong with her – She’s very weird – or maybe, just rude. Bizarre -…” They talked about me. They are still talking about me. But, I don’t fit in. I just don’t fit in now. What was happening to me? What changed? But, I am happier now… I no longer feel the need to change myself in order to be accepted. I am my best friend. I no longer fear loneliness. My “me-time” has become the best time of the day! But, they told me I was stupid when I rejected a job.. That I would never achieve anything in life.. They said, I was imbecile. I just wanted to do the job that I love. Because, doing something that I love would be call passion. I didn’t want to end up like almost everyone who hate Mondays & love Fridays. I didn’t want to be that person who lived only on the weekends. No, I didn’t want to be that person who dies at 25 and isn’t buried until 75. But, then they said that everybody has to settle in life. You have to take whatever you get. This is life. It’s called compromise and those who don’t settle never achieve quickly. But, how could I settle for less than I deserve when I know that I deserve the best in life? And , not just me. Everybody. Everyone deserve the best. But, if you settle, you don’t get the best. Then, you have no right to be ask the universe why your life sucks, why your job is such a pain in the ass or why your relationship is so bad. You choose to settle right? So, why complain now? Why complain? But, what do I know? I’m just the weirdo of the society…
Originally posted on iheartmylife26.wordpress.com by Neha Gunnoo