Two-months back, I got a big break for my career – a new responsibility.
It was awesome; it was what I wanted, a new challenge so that I could push myself to being limitless.
So, I told myself that I would give my everything to learning this new role and be awesome in it..my everything…
I indulged myself into trainings and shadowing and learning everything about my new responsibilities. I was always on stress & tension because I didn’t want to screw things up. For two whole months, my work became my everything. I stopped doing my other things like writing, going on adventures; you know things that actually bring you inner happiness.
It was like this because I thought that if I dedicated my mind to something else other than this new role, this would disrupt my focus and decrease my productivity.
Eventually, as time passed by, my work took over my mind and my creative side got blocked. I felt zero connection with the universe and like my intuition stopped talking to me.
So, basically it was like my left side of my brain took over my mind and my right side got lost.
But, I said, it’s fine, the creativity will come back. This new responsibility is much more important than anything.
I kicked ass at work, I worked hard, I worked smart, for very long hours.
And, I proved myself & to everyone that it was not a bad decision to take me for this new role.
I felt good about myself that I have achieved this…for like 5 minutes. Then, I felt like complete crap.
Yups, I felt like shit 🙂
Why? Because looking back over those two-months, I saw myself grinding and working my ass off to impress the boss and not let anyone say that I wasn’t good enough for the role; which I accomplished.
But, I also lost weight because I was always skipping lunch to get the work done; I felt physically & mentally tired; I became to a point that I no longer wanted to look at my computer screen and I was waiting to the weekend to sleep..
Yeah… I became like the rest of the world.. zombies.. I had stopped living, I was only EXISTING.
Sure, I got more bucks – awesome.. getting more money is always awesome.. but, for what ?
For Fuck’s sake.. for what?
Yayyy.. I got more bucks and more responsibilities at work, but I was no longer inline with the vibration of the universe. I no longer loved myself.
That sucks.. like real bad..
I looked at some of my colleagues; when I first started working, I said – Nopes, am not gonna end up like them, people who work for the weekends. But, I did become like them..
And, all of a sudden, I didn’t like who I’ve become.. That’s not good at all..
We have to balance our life.. Work.. Career.. Money.. it’s awesome to have those in life.. But, the other aspects of our life are important too.. Health, experiences, connection, friendship, love..
What’s the use of having a little more money in life if we don’t have life experiences? If we do not have someone real to come back home to? Or, simply we neglected our health and now, we look like crap?
It’s not worth it.. 🙂
We can’t just give Only ONE aspect of our life our everything.
We have to give & receive in all aspects of our life..
Don’t say, let me work a lot this year, then next year when I have so much of money, then I’ll start living life like I want.. How do you know you gonna live till next year?
Start balancing.. Start to celebrate all your little wins, and not wait for the big ones to pop up the champagne… Go on that nature walk.. Stop saying “I have to work tonight, I’ll go out with my friends next week” and then, you never get the time & energy to actually go out.
It’s time to stop existing & really Live
Originally posted on theelysiangeek.com
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